Hash Trash for the Inaugural SOT Hash

We had a bigger turn out than expected for the inaugural running of the SOT Hash. Hell, I was glad anyone showed up. The hash started at Ted Wright Park in Bonaire. People came from as far north as Atlanta and from as far south as Fitzgerald. I was the hare along with long time friend Virgin Sue and her daughter Virgin April (virgin with a daughter?) . We set off through the park and up a huge hill on Becky Dr. Over the hill was the beer van waiting. After everyone made it to the beer stop, my daughter, NASA Ass, gave separate instructions to the walkers and runners on where to find flour again. Virgin Sue had split off to do the last half of the running trail, which was also the walking trail. I set out on a loop that ended up back at the beer van. Paranoia was setting in as I was trying to lay the runners' trail up a steep hill along some power lines. Every dog bark sounded like "on on" to me. After going through some high grass containing a few briars (sorry!) the trail ended up back on the street. At this point I saw someone running towards me and thought I would be snared for sure. Every "woof woof" sounded like "on on" in the distance. I just kept on running and laying trail and made it back to the beer van - exhausted. I looked across the lake and saw part of the pack still trying to find trail. They were over a mile behind me. I don't know who I saw that I thought was going to snare me, but I guess it wasn't a hasher. I got some water and walked home from there, the second half of the trail already laid by Virgin Sue (laid by a virgin?? hmmm...) When I got to the end of the trail, the virgin hares had already split (pun intended). I had to do a double down down for that offense. Then I just sat around and waited... and waited... Some of the pack thought the Beer Stop at Loose Strokes' house was the end of trail. NASA Ass checked up on them and set them straight. Virgin Marty was the FRB having bypassed the last beer stop. Cheaper was FRB runner, but I think there was some shortcutting involved. Tinkerbell and Bug Up My Ass rolled in on scooters and Breaker Box on skateboard. They were honored with a down down for their ingenuity, though it didn't help them get to the end any faster. It was ruled that wheeled devices were okay (strollers, scooter, skates, bikes, etc...). That's what slacking is all about. There were some renamings with some questionable maneuvering by the GM. Rules? What rules? Short and Easy was renamed Goldijocks and Jafarts (from Iran) renamed to Golden Showers. He had a big smile on his face until someone told him what it meant. By the time the circle closed, it was too late to go to an on-after. I offered to throw some pizzas in the oven for those who wanted to stick around, but most of the pack opted to get along. And after all I said about the giveaway, I forgot to hand them out. I also forgot to take pictures. Another Kodak moment lost.